Category: Articles

I would imagine that you are familiar with the usual job interview tips about dress, preparation, arrival times, follow-up notes, eye contact and the like, so I’ll offer a tip from a bit of a different perspective-a psychological one. As someone who’s been on both sides of the hiring process, I’m going to tell you how to take control of your job interview. If you follow these instructions, chances are your interviewer will fall over him or herself (let’s go with the masculine term from now on) wanting to hire you.

Here’s a truth: People, by and large, like talking about themselves, and they also like to feel important. And, in every interview there is a component of control, as in, who is directing the conversation. If you, as the applicant, wish to stand out to the interviewer you would be well served by subtly gaining control of the conversation. Direct it in such a way that the interviewing manager finds himself talking about what he thinks the organization is about and what the ideal candidate would be doing if hired. Once that’s done, all you have to do is agree with him and stroke his ego now and then by not only agreeing, but indicating that you think his ideas are wonderful. You can then provide examples of how you exactly fit the requirements by following the clues you’ve been provided.

How do you do that without being obvious and seeming like you are controlling the interview? Start off by answering questions, but increasingly become conversational-meaning, begin to end your statements with a question of your own. For instance, if you’re being interviewed for a non-profit position, and you’ve been asked about your fundraising ability, you would answer the question, and then follow-up with a question about what strategies they’ve already tried. With any luck, the manager will get excited and tell you what hasn’t worked, what has, and what his vision is. You then let him know you think the vision is sublime and give an example of how you’ve either done that before or how it fits with your personal style. He will feel affirmed, and begin to think you are an amazing fit for the organization. If you do it right, he will still feel in control (because he’s done a lot of talking) of the interview but will remember it after as it “free-flowing and natural.”

Hiring managers want to feel comfortable with and confident about whom they hire. They want to know that the person they hire gets their vision and won’t be a problem. What better way to present yourself as that great person than by finding out what his vision is and positioning yourself accordingly. Subtly stroking his ego along the way will leave him feeling very happy about bringing you on board. There’s a lot to be gained by being animated and saying, “That’s a great idea!”

One last tip to polish off that strategy: If you can find something that the two of you have in common outside of work, all the better. Not only do you have the same vision, but you both enjoy cross country skiing! Wow! You are awesome and must be hired!

Theo Selles, M.Sc.

I wrote much of this as a response to a question about how to deal with liars in the workplace. I hope this is helpful and I welcome any feedback. It would seem to make for a good forum discussion.

There are different types of liars that you may encounter varying in the level of self-awareness and intentionality of their lying. Some people tend to embellish or exaggerate. Those actions, usually required by the embellishers to stroke or build their own fragile egos, can certainly be categorized as lies, but they tend to be less harmful overall than the lies of pathological or manipulative liars.

Some liars are pathological and compulsive, meaning that they seem not to be able to help themselves. They may lie out of habit, or fear, or simply because they’ve learned that lying has worked better for them than telling the truth. These liars may lie without even thinking about it as being a lie. In fact, they may even believe the reality that they construct.

Then there are the manipulative liars, fully aware of what they are about and being strategic about making others look bad and themselves appear better in comparison. These people will lie about the work they themselves do, and they will lie to you and about you to other people.

Once you’ve figured out that you are dealing with a pathological or manipulative liar, you must take steps to protect yourself and your reputation in the organization. Here are some techniques that you can use:

1) Very quickly avoid trying to resolve issues with them as you would with a person of integrity. All that does is put you in a situation of vulnerability. They will just use the information you share with them and will see your efforts to resolve issues with them as an indication of weakness.

2) Calmly and directly confront the liar immediately upon the lie-whether it occurs in front of witnesses or not. Simply state the truth and then avoid the crazy arguing that the liar will try to engage you in. If that person is a liar, it’s not just you in the organization that will know it, and your standing up to him or her might give someone else the courage to do so as well. A liar is a bully, and bullies need standing up to or they run amok.

3) NEVER meet alone with a liar to resolve a situation as you would a regular colleague. Doing so will set you up for further lies, including accusations on their part that you were inappropriate or abusive somehow in the meeting. Remember, they will lie, and also, since they lie, any agreement or resolution the two of you come up with will be broken by them anyway. Always try to have a witness in your dealings with a liar.

4) Document! Don’t let a situation develop where it’s your word against his or hers. Liars can be very smooth and practiced in presenting a distorted reality to your organizational superiors.

5) Let your integrity shine! Don’t stoop to the liar’s level. Show your integrity consistently in such a way that if it ever comes down to your boss or others having to believe you or the liar it will be no contest.

Lying at work is a form of harassment and bullying. It’s an activity that is often reflective of a dysfunctional organizational culture and a lack of consistent firm leadership that demands accountability to organizational values and standards. No one should have to put up with abuse and the accompanying experiences of distrust, insecurity, and anxiety at work. If you’re not satisfied with leadership’s response to your concerns, you may wish to consult with an employment lawyer, as well as talk with your physician about the stress you’re experiencing.

Theo Selles, M.Sc.
647-686-0661

I recently came upon a statistic that spoke volumes to me about the chaotic state of workplaces so often reported to me by my clients. A 2007 study by the Chartered Management Institute of Scotland found that only 5 out of 10 managers reported finding it easy to make time for their staff.

I’m sure if you’re a manager, you won’t be at all surprised to read that. Increasingly, it seems, managers are so tied up with meetings and administrative responsibilities that time with staff is relegated to the sidelines rather than as the top priority. In addition, a large majority of time managed with staff is often spent reactively on identified “problem staff” rather than equally spread out. I’ve frequently heard managers say they spend much of their staff time putting out fires rather than being able to build and enhance staff performance. Essentially what I hear them saying is that despite their title, they are not able to find time to manage.

There are huge costs to organizations when managers are kept too busy to manage and there are vitally significant reasons why managers need to build strong trust-based relationships with their people. Perhaps the most obvious one is that it is unrealistic to expect any group of people to function well together without structure, guidance, and support. Unmanaged or poorly managed employee relationships lead to increased risk of unresolved conflict (both between employees and between employees and the organization), and that conflict can lead to absenteeism, stress leaves, harassments suits, disability claims, and a variety of other expensive consequences. Absenteeism alone is estimated to cost $8.6 billion in Canada (The Health Communication Unit [online], The Case for Comprehensive Workplace Health Promotion: Making “Cents” of a Good Idea, date unknown). Employees who report interpersonal relations, job control, and management practices as sources of stress are more likely than others to be absent for six or more days (Health Canada, Canadian Fitness and Lifestyle Research Institute. Workplace Health System, no.3.1998)

These statistics don’t include the cost of “Presenteeism”, a relatively new term used to describe unmotivated, often disgruntled, employees who retire at work-essentially showing up but not producing. An article in Maclean’s (October 2007) quoted a report from Health Canada estimating that this costs Canadian employers 22 billion dollars a year!

There’s another very good reason why organizations benefit when employees enjoy close trust-based relationships with their managers. Would it surprise you to learn that according to both the Canadian Mental Health Association and the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), 1 in 5 Canadians will experience a form of Mental Illness over their life time and the remaining 4 will have a friend, family member, or colleague who does? That means people just like you and me at work are not only attempting to shoulder their work responsibilities but are also dealing with issues such as depression, anxiety, schizophrenia, personality disorders, and eating disorders. In addition, CAMH reports that an estimated 1 in 10 Canadians over age 15 exhibit symptoms of moderate to advanced alcohol or drug addiction, and 3.8% of adults in Ontario can be classified as having a moderate to severe gambling problem. Again, this is you and me-your co-workers. “Every day, 500,000 Canadians are absent from work due to psychiatric problems. Mental Health is the number one cause of disability in Canada, accounting for nearly 30% of disability claims and 70% of the total costs” (CAMH online citing the Insurance Journal, 2003). According to Statistics Canada, “$51 billion is the annual cost of mental illness and addictions to the Ontario economy” alone.

You’re reeling, I know, but remember; these figures don’t include other issues that employees routinely have to deal with as part of being human. Death of a loved one, the break-up of a relationship, parenting, taking care of older parents, relationship conflict, physical health issues
Can you see more and more the role that a manager can play in the health of an organization and why it is so vital that mangers are freed up to manage?

A good manager, one who knows his or her staff, and can prevent problems from escalating is truly worth his or her weight in gold. The very same study that I quoted at the beginning of this article referred to a study initiated by The Conference Board of Canada in 1999 that found “Employees who rate their managers as sensitive miss an estimated 3.7 days of work; whereas employees whose managers are rated as non-sensitive miss approximately 6.2 days of work” per year (McBride-King, J., and Buchmann, K.).

“Vancouver City Savings Credit Union – Vancity – has been repeatedly ranked among Maclean’s Top 100 employers, in part because of an ingrained employee assistance program and management training in spotting employee problems before they reach a crisis” (Macleans, October 2007). Managers who kept watch for signs of stress demonstrated by bank tellers who had experienced a robbery and who instituted support for employees in the form of counseling programs had an enormous impact on employee well being and absenteeism. “In B.C., the average post-robbery absence per branch – as paid out by the Workers Compensation Board – is 62 days. In Vancity [in 2005] 17 of our 19 robberies had no days absent, says Ann Leckie, Vancity’s Director of Human Resources. The other two robberies had an average absence of two days. Leckie does a quick calculation: That’s 1,054 days not lost, she says. There’s a big financial incentive to doing it right.” (Macleans, October 2007). By any standards, that is truly phenomenal, and a tribute to a proactive employer and the benefits of sensitive management.

There is no replacement for time spent together when it comes to building the kind of relationships with staff that managers need to have in order to provide guidance, reassurance, direction, and support. Time and again you will hear that employees, more than any other reason, either stay with or leave their managers, not their jobs. The efficacy of a manager is based on the loyalty, commitment, and trust that he or she generates from his or her staff in the midst of all the emotional and physical issues we all face as humans. Employees need to be able to turn to their managers in times of conflict or personal crisis. The cost of their manager being too busy to be there for them far out weighs the benefit to the organization of that manager attending yet another meeting.

Theo Selles, M.Sc.
647-686-0116